Bad Boys 4 Life
by Noiseless Symphony
Summary: The Bad Boys of Hogwarts are the Griffindors or the Slytherins? Chapter 2- The Griffindor boys form a club to rival the charms of Malfoy. Review this or ELSE...I've run out of threats.
1. "...Damn Hot..."

**Bad Boys 4 Life**

**"…Damn Hot…" **

It started with Draco Malfoy, as things always do. Somehow, over the holidays, he'd managed to grow a neat upside down triangular-shaped goatee under his chin, making him look somewhat more wicked and sinful and tempting than ever. For once in his life, the thin, pale rich kid was deemed 'hot'.

"Damn, he's hot." The words inadvertently slipped out of Hermione's mouth before she had a chance to stop them. Harry and Ron glanced over at what she'd been staring at, and their jaws dropped when they realised it was Malfoy.

"Hermione?!" Ron gaped. "Are you insane?!" Luckily, Malfoy had heard neither Griffindors comments, being too busy fighting off Pansy who wished to take possession of his arm.

Hermione coloured a little. "I-I meant," she stammered, looking down at the ground, "I-I was…wasn't talking about…well, I…" She was at a loss for words.

Ron apparently wasn't. He turned to Harry. "That Malfoy," he snarled through gritted teeth, "what's so great about him? For three weeks now he's got all the girls of every house in a spin- it's like they've forgotten he's a Slytherin _and_ he's an unbearable git!"

Lavender, who'd heard him as she passed, stopped and spoke. "You don't get it Ron, do you?" she said, talking to the redhead but keeping her gaze over his shoulder. Ron knew whom she was looking at and narrowed his eyes.

"Get what Lavender?" asked Harry.

"It's because he _is_ a Slytherin and always so nasty that all the girls like him. He's a bad boy, Ron, so much better than the goody-two-shoes hero over here," Lavender said, indicating Harry. "No offence Harry," she added. 

"None taken," Harry replied quickly.

"He's got the cold, indifferent personality, but underneath he has a hidden sensitive side," she continued dreamily, clasping her hands together, "the sexy Slytherin with a past, the untamed dragon whose heart can never be captured…" She sighed. "Of course, it makes it so much easier to want him when he's so good-looking!"

"Oh please," Ron snorted. "A sensitive side? The untamed dragon? You girls must be really stupid if you really believe that about _him_." He glanced at Hermione, who looked extremely guilty.

"Well, Ron Weasley," Lavender said furiously, drawing herself up a little taller, "you're just jealous of Malfoy's undeniable animal magnetism, that's why you're so bitter! Your mad because you could never be a Bad Boy like him!" As Lavender stormed off, Ron looked disgusted.

"How _dare_ she compare me to _him_!" he exclaimed to Harry. Harry was feeling embarrassed at hearing Lavender call Malfoy the 's' word and just looked down at his shoes.

"Who wants to be a 'Bad Boy' anyway, when they're just so bloody annoying!" Ron raged. He glared at Malfoy, who was now leaning casually against the wall, joking with Crabbe and Goyle.

Harry eyed Hermione. "Well," he said quietly, "some people seem to like them." Ron rounded on Hermione.

"And you," he said to her angrily, "how could you?" Have you forgotten everything he's done to me, to you, to Harry, to Hagrid…?"

Hermione shook her head and looked up at Ron. "No," she said, feeling uncomfortable under Ron's fixed stare, "but…I just can't help falling under his spell. I mean, not literally, but, well, it's just…oh Ron," she snapped, "I can't help it! I'm not just Hermione, clever witch of Griffindor, I'm also just a girl! And I know he's a complete idiot, but I have to admit he's damn hot as well, okay?!" And she stomped off, just like Lavender had done a minute ago.

Ron was quiet for a moment. Just then, Malfoy rocked up to him with his bodyguards. "Well, well, well," he said, taking in Ron's glare with a smirk, "looks like you and your girlfriend just had a fight. Not that I'm surprised really. You leave much to be desired." He eyed Ron's shabby robes disdainfully. "Maybe you want some tips Weasley, seeing as _I_ seem to be quite popular with the ladies these days!"

"When I want some tips on how to be an aggravating pain in the neck, I'll remember to ask you," Ron said through gritted teeth. Malfoy just smiled pityingly and strode off, his two disciples running after him.

"Well," Ron said fervently, shaking with emotion, "so it's bad boys they want is it?" He seemed to be talking to himself, so Harry didn't interrupt.

"Fine. Bad boys it is then." He turned to Harry. "The Bad Boys of Griffindor. Come on Harry, let's go find the others." And he marched off, leaving Harry to wonder which 'others' he was referring to. 

  
  



	2. "...Good Guys/Bad Boys..."

_Chap. 2_

**"…Good Guys / Bad Boys…" **

"I still don't get it. Why do we have to do this?" That was Neville, sitting cross-legged on his bed, watching Ron pace back and forth. " I mean, I don't _want _to be a bad boy."

Ron had gathered all the Fifth year Griffindor boys and was currently holding them hostage in their dormitory.

"Yeah Ron," Harry agreed. "This seems a bit stupid. Why do we want to rival Malfoy's gang anyway? We're just taking his bait."

"You don't understand Harry," Ron said seriously. He stopped in front of him. "We can't let Malfoy think he can do anything he wants."

"What?"

"All he has to do is snap his fingers, and some girl comes running up to him," he continued, looking aggrieved. "We have to teach him a lesson."

"What, by becoming just like him?" said Dean, leaning against his bedpost. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"I get it." Seamus dragged himself off his bed and faced Ron. "He's jealous of Malfoy," he said slowly. "He's jealous that he gets all the girls so easily, while none of _us_ good guys are getting laid."

Harry nearly fainted at that. Neville covered his mouth to stop giggling, Dean seemed amused, and Ron was wide-eyed in shock.

"Wh-what?" Ron stammered. "L-l-"

"Laid." Seamus confirmed. "It means-"

"I know what it means!" Ron snapped, feeling his pulse return. He breathed in slowly. "I…am…NOT…jealous…of…Malfoy," he said tightly. "And I'm pretty sure he's…he's a…well…" Ron blushed.

"He's a what?" Dean asked.

"He means a virgin," Seamus shrugged, sitting back down. Everyone stared at him, looking so calm at discussing something so personal. Seamus shrugged again. "Alright," he said, "so what exactly do we have to do? I'm not going to hurt anyone, unless of course it's a Slytherin."

"All we have to do," Ron said, looking warily at Seamus, "is become what the girls are terming as 'bad boys'. We have to have the looks, the arrogance, the charm, and of course, the naughty, irresponsible side which-"

"Makes girls swoon over us," Dean finished. Ron glared at him. "Well…in a nut shell…yes," he admitted grudgingly. He suddenly banged his fist on the on the bedpost, making Neville jump. "Just what the hell is so damn _wonderful _about Malfoy anyway!" he yelled. "What's he got that I haven't? Money? Yes. Fame? Of a certain kind, yes. Looks? I suppose. Intelligence? Hell no!" He turned savagely to Harry. "What, are we supposed to play brain-dead to get anyone to like us??!"

Harry blinked twice, and Ron sank down next to him. "The ultimate betrayal was Hermione," he said sadly. "How could she do that to me?" Harry noticed that Ron had said 'me' instead of 'us' but he didn't comment on it.

"Okay," Harry said determinedly, "I'll do it. How about you guys?" He looked meaningfully at the other three as Ron stared down at his lap, trying to signal to them to say yes. This was Ron's idea, and Harry guessed that he was trying to win a particular someone's heart, not just rival Malfoy. 

Seamus and Dean readily agreed. Neville needed a little more cajoling, but when Harry added that Ginny's gaze seemed to rest on Malfoy for longer than usual lately, Neville quickly assented.

"Right," said Harry, taking action. Ron seemed a little embarrassed at his outburst and gratefully left everything to Harry. "What we've got to do is set out and find out what _particular_ things the…er…female persuasion are attracted to in the Slytherins. I'm not going to just become a clone of Malfoy- I'd first like to find out _what_ exactly people, strangely enough, like about him."

"His goatee," Seamus said immediately.

"What?"

"When he came back after the holidays, he had a bit of fluff on his chin. Girls flocked to him like flies to a pig's carcass."

Dean made a face. "Urgh…thanks for that Seamus," he said. "Are you suggesting that we all grow a beard, because I have absolutely no facial hair whatsoever and I like my face being this smooth thankyou very much."

"Nah, I'm just sayin'. That's one thing girls like about him."

"Idiots," Ron muttered. Harry ignored him. 

"Alright, point taken into account-"

"Shouldn't we write this down?" Neville said suddenly. "So, you know, we can refer back to this in other meetings?

"Other meetings?" Dean stood up. "I thought I'd only be dragged here once. Are we going to have to do this week after week or something?"

"That's a good idea," said Seamus, standing up as well and patting Dean on the back. "We can make it into a club. What was it Ron called it? Bad Boys of Griffindor. An exclusive club, for only Fifth Year Griffindor boys."

"Which would only be us."

"Exactly. Neville can take the minutes, since he suggested it- yes, you Neville." Neville reluctantly took out a parchment, quill and a bottle of ink out of his trunk and started scribbling. "You can start from me saying we'd start a club," said Seamus. "Every week we can gather here on Saturdays, like today, and have an hour meeting, and discuss any new ideas on how to beat Malfoy into the ground." He glanced at Ron, who was looking very excited. "I don't mean literally," he added, and Ron once again became downcast.

"I don't want to waste my Saturdays on _this_," Dean declared loudly.

"You know," said Seamus slyly, " _this_ could help you with that girl you said you liked. You know, Lisa­-"

"Alright! Shut up!" Dean said, his face going red. 

"I saw her lookin' at Blaise Zabini," Seamus persisted with a smirk, "and I heard her sayin' to Mandy Brocklehurst that she thought Zabini was sexy-"

"Stop it!"

"-in a naughty, mischievous kind of way-"

"Will you shut-"

"And Mandy asked her what she thought of you." There was silence.

"Um…what did she say?" Dean asked self-consciously, trying not to look interested 

"Well, she said, and I quote, 'I find him _cute_'." More silence.

"Cute? Just _cute_?"

"Just cute," Seamus affirmed. "Sorry mate." Dean sat down with a thump. 

"Fine," he muttered. "Every Saturday. And _no one_ better tell anyone about my crush on Lisa Turpin." He glared viciously around the room. Everyone nodded, and Dean became painfully aware of Neville's intense rapid scratching of quill on parchment. "Neville…" he warned. Neville sighed and started crossing out large amounts of text he'd written.

"Hey Ron," Harry nudged his best friend. "What do you think of setting up our own club?" Ron pondered the idea. Then he started smiling.

"Okay," he agreed, "but you know, it really was _me_ who came up with the name, and brought everyone together, and-"

"Alright," Seamus interrupted, "you're our president." Ron grinned broadly.

Harry stood up. "I think," he announced, "that the first…er…session of the Bad Boys of Griffindor is over. Or should be. Hermione is probably wondering where we are."

"She's probably in the library, not even thinking of us. But anyway…" Ron stood up next to Harry. "I now declare our first meeting…um…finished? Well, you know what I mean."

The boys filed out, Neville quickly folding the parchment and tossing it into his trunk for safekeeping. The Bad Boys of Griffindor had officially been formed. And they'd missed lunch.

* * *


End file.
